Let's face it…

It's time I showed you what I really look like. It's hard for me to publish these but it's important because I know it's hard for people with facial paralysis to face the world every day. It's difficult not being able to simply smile, or having to repeat my words because they can't be understood or use a TON of napkins to wipe my mouth because my lips don't want to keep food in. Some people say, "You look great today!" and I do appreciate that but it's most likely that I learned how to contour my face with makeup. It also could be that I've been using my eye cream to tighten my lips as well. Really, I do. When you're in this position, you will try anything to try and look right again.

Again, this is not for sympathy, it's only for your understanding. Some of my friends have never known me before all this happened. Some thought I was born that way. I'm not sure if it's ever affected the way people treat me or befriend me. I would hope not- I know that I could never judge another based on appearance. Especially after going through this. My compassion for people has only deepened.

This is a picture of me, obviously much thinner but before I ever suffered from bells palsy. Showing my teeth and being kissed by my dear husband. Shoot, we were young! (mid to early 20's - he has put up with me for a long time!)

This was just last summer with my Niece where I could give a Mona Lisa smile. I could live with this!

You can see how the right side doesnt quite exactly go up so I would adjust the amount that I'd "lift" my left. Knowing I'd never have a toothy grin was acceptable to me and although I have problems with my eye weeping I never considered it annoying enough to see a doctor about it. I think many of us put up with inconsistencies in our bodies that we could probably fix but except them and move on. You would probably would never have known anything was ever wrong if you saw me at this stage in my life. (Edited: BWAHAHAHA!! I just realized the face my husband is making in this pictures. Too funny. God I love him! )

This next picture is very hard for me to post. But I have to put it out there so not only can you compare the progress over the next year but also show myself that it's OK to be who I am.

I took this picture this morning with a full on "smile" . This is as much as I can move my face.  Like the doctor said we need to loosen up one side and tighten up the other and bring back the symmetry. Now that I look at this picture I really should've gotten those stupid little smiley faces on a stick. Is it too late to ask for a stocking stuffer? 

Part of me wishes I could be put in a coma over the next six months so that I could just wake up and see results. I know it's going to be a long process. But I am so glad that I will be starting this journey of healing next week! 

Crap, I forgot to ask the doctor for a nose job while he was in there! Oh well.