Mountain in the Road

I'm going to make this brief for two reasons. If I think about it too much I will completely fall apart and that won't serve me emotionally or physically. The other reason is because I only have so much information to go on anyway....

My surgical coordinator called me and said my health insurance has denied my surgery because they believe it's cosmetic. They are going to do a peer to peer consult and hopefully their decision can be changed. They told me 90% of the time it is.

Would this surgery help me cosmetically? Of course. BUT, I cannot blink my eye to moisten in. I cannot see out of it clearly most of the time because of this. I have to tape it at night to keep it closed and healthy. I cannot eat food properly or speak clearly. I am in facial pain on the right side from the sykenisis which has only gotten worse because the lack of the left side working and it's compensating. My jaw hurts after I talk for just about and hour. I can only look at a monitor for so long before my eye goes blurry and burns. This will keep me from a full time income and potentially affect us financially.

I'm not sure what I will do if they say no. My head swims when I think of it.

...so there you have it. I go into the weekend not knowing if I'll have surgery next week or not now. After all the excitement, I feel like I've been punched in the gut.

Back in limbo.....